Re published :: On my own, It shall be.

It's not like I had a bad day or anything like it, I had fun hanging out with Elle and Kyo really. Finally get to learn a tune or 2 off the violin strings, thanks to Elle who is more than willing to teach me. But after much reflection of the episodes happened today, I was set to serious thinking about the "Singapore cultural behaviour" again.

Woke up in the morning, feeling like I've drown myself in barrels of alcohol last night, head feels like it start a drill without me. Awful. Awful. Awful. But yeah, took the usual vitamin tablets + panadol to chase away the headache.

I'm fine after, but by the time I notice, I was late (yet again) to meet Elle and Kyo. Hurrily, I flagged a cab (leaving the ang mo right across the road, still strangled at the same spot even though he was there waiting for cab before I stepped out of my house) eh. Better luck next time. *sorry* =x

So on the cab I was texting Tanny (hoping i could finally meet her after so bloody hell long.) and
Elle (keeping her update of my status and not to MIA after texting "I'm cabbing there now." or sort.)

Yes I am sick and tired of "let's see how/I dunno/dunno yet" kinda replies every now and then. This seems rather a "common practice" among fellow Singapore people. Like does a little organisation and planning cause malfunctioning to your brain?? Or is giving a timing really that hard?? I can't seem to understand this part. (maybe Lee Anne could analysis this type of beings for me.)

Pissed. Pissed. Blehy Pissed. *fish you*

Okay back to happy stuff, the text message I was waiting for finally comes. In my mind I screamed to myself: "It's a yes!! IT'S A YES!!". Indeed, Terry the manager of Blooie's has confirmed with me that my school has approved our appeal for students to attached to his company for internship. Overjoyed, I spread the message around smiling cheek to cheek, like a little child getting a huge cotton candy bigger than her head. Hey at least I have a good news that's an huge issue to me being lift off my body. X)

Day went quite well, had lotsa food (really alot) watch Elle and Kyo play Rock Band on PS3 , sing along to songs I know how. Quite interesting way to pass time, kinda fun too. =D

Only that I didn't manage to get my stuff (was 80% sure I won't get it today anyways lol) and didn't meet Tanny again (for the third time. Let's do a counting of how many times both of us are not fated to meet each other.) Well, a friendship with status in "distant" mode. But everytime I think of not having this to go on anymore they'd surprise me with a text message, suddenly we are talking again, then distant again. This vicious cycle is driving me nuts.

If I was to be given a choice of personality, I'd choose to be ignorant. At least I won't be disappointed and all sensitive to every episodes I come across, every outcome was according to what I've analysised. That definitely don't make me a happier person.

I hate it when my brain kept analysising how people around me behave, especially when they ain't doing the right thing or making the right decisions. Even though I've always started out every friendship with all my sincere heart, it's always the other party that leaves me too much of a disappointment to continue our shared friendship. Does anyone knows every relationship is not just by coincidence? Does anyone knows the meaning of cherishing the bond we unknowingly created together?

Little episodes (or slight changes in people's attitude) can lead my mind to every possiblities such as these. Maybe there's more that I did not typed out? Maybe my brain can't process all my thoughts through typing? I don't know really...My heart just feels real empty inside.

I'm sure once work starts, I'd sure long to forget about hanging out with friends, mafia wars, facebook, shopping etc. I'll be too busy crowding my mind with work related issues than to do anything else.

On my own, It shall be. Be brave and face the open seas, adventures will fill your heart of lonliness.